Ask yourself are depending on others for a number of your needs, or are a number of others depending on you? Remember no one is watching and listening but you, so you can tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
If you don’t tell yourself the truth, you’re only lying to yourself, making a fool of yourself and creating problems for yourself and your future.
Make a list of what you depend on from others. Are you always calling someone to make repairs at your home or apartment? Do you reply upon others for help with your finances or lend you money when needed? Are you depending on someone to support your mental and emotional stability? You must be honest and detailed when making this list, the small things can make a huge difference and they add up.
Also, make a list of things for which others depend on you. Be sure and include your kid’s needs on this list. I know this list will be long being women tend to take on more for others than they do for themselves. Now compare the two lists and on the first list ask yourself. What things on this list can I actually do myself? What are the positives of me doing it myself? If there’s a negative point in me doing it myself, what would it be and what would be the negative outcome? Now take a look at the second list. What are you doing for others that they can do for themselves? If you have older children decide what you’re going to start having them take care of themselves. In many situations you can become an enabler for your child, which stunts their growth, clouds their ability to make proper decisions and makes them dependent upon you for things that are totally their responsibility. Just because you’re single, do your friends, family and co-workers expect you to have time to do more things for them? Remember your time is just as valuable as those with families.
Review your previous lists carefully and determine what new priorities you have created. You should have removed items from your first list and delegated items from your second list. If you have honestly looked at how your time is being spent, both lists should now be shorter. What you have actually done is lightened your responsibilities of others and made time to learn something new for yourself.
If you’ve been totally honest with yourself, you should be removing things from your first list and holding people responsible for their stuff on your second list. You will have taken more responsibility for what you can do and allowing others to take care of their responsibilities. Making everyone more INDEPENDENT!
Now those of you who are becoming more independent and those of you who already are, I applaud you and people will love, honor and respect you for it. I’d like to share something with you and stop the myth that’s been wide spread and repeated by women so much they’ve fooled themselves into believing it! “He Can’t Handle a Strong Successful Independent Woman” or “He’s Intimidated by a Woman Making More Money than Him!”
“Men Are Not Intimidated By Successful Independent Women!” Men love successful independent women and it’s one of the main ingredients that make him fall in love with you. So when you say, “He Can’t Handle a Strong Successful Independent Women” you’re lying to yourself and missing the big picture. Odds are your independence (in some cases delusional independence) has made you arrogant, ignorant to your behaviour, feeling entitled to commit unflattering aggressive behaviour, not becoming when wanting to have a nurturing loving relationship and that’s why you’re by yourself. Not your success or independence!
You will always need to have a life of your own! Don’t ever forfeit that for a man, no matter how much you care for him because you’ll doom yourself and possibly your relationship when you lose your independence. Did you know that men don’t like women that try too hard for them, because it becomes annoying? It’s a clear picture that you have no other interest of your own other than him and he doesn’t desire that kind of pressure to keep you happy. Having your own life is attractive to a man and “He Loves an Independent Successful Woman!” You show signs of independence and individuality; he’ll fall in love with you. It’s exciting to a man to have an “Independent Woman,” he knows she can create something new and exciting without his help, which makes her interesting in his eyes. It also takes pressure off the man having a woman that can make something happen without him.
Ladies, “Men Love Strong Independent Successful Women” and we’re not intimidated by them, we seek them, we love them and we marry them. So stop using that, “He’s Afraid of a Strong Successful Independent Woman Statement” as an excuse as to why you’re alone. You’re alone because of you and your behaviours. For the record, “There’s No Shortage of Good Men” either! I always say to men and women, if you don’t have a good person in your life, “Go Look Into The Mirror and You’ll Be Looking at the Problem!” There are 3.4 Billion men in the world and you can’t find 1. Does it make sense to think 3.4 Billion men have a problem or is the problem within you? When looking at yourself, tell yourself the truth, and make a behavioural change that will change your life and who enters.